I The Coup began when the President said it began, at 3:13 in the morning, Eastern Daylight Time. And though Ivanka had been awake only minutes before the President’s Secret Service knocked on
Ok. Here’s what happened. No, I don’t want a drink of water thanks. I’m trying to just think back through the morning’s events. Okay, right. I was pissed because I woke up and I saw
The mission was simple: sneak into the White House, gather all of the weapons of mass destruction, and change the future. I strolled in through the front door. Agent Penelope created a distraction outside
Sean Spicer looked and spoke like a nervous understudy in a school play, only thirty years older and moderately jaundiced. “My, uh, my pumpkin is the biggest,” he shouted at the county fair vegetable
The White House lawn looked like cake. KUSH! KUSH! KUSH! Jared felt long-gone claps of well-intentioned mitts on his shoulder and past reflexes of beer down his throat as the lights of the Capitol winked
Alright. I understand. Her mother’s voice had taken on the faraway, sighing tone — the aural white flag. We know you’re busy. She wearily hung up the call, and gave herself a moment to collect
Ye ye ye. Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. You got this yeezy – you on fleek – you best – you god. Pray for Paris – pray for the parents. Ye.
“Which truth is the most true!”, the largest giant floating head shouted once again. Martin couldn’t understand why the thing was shouting in the first place. The room, if it was a room,